The Black Ball
Due to selective mutism she hadn't spoken outside her home in months
Mia was seven years old and hadn’t spoken a word outside her home in months.
Selective mutism presents quite a challenge and usually complex cases.
When she came to me, I couldn’t work the way I normally do. No conversation. No back and forth. I had to adapt completely and use emotion cards, color charts, pictures and yes and no answers by moving a finger.
I asked her to close her eyes and look inside her body to see what her fear of speaking looked like. Once she identified it, she opened her eyes, chose a matching color, and drew what she saw.
It turned out to be a heavy black ball in her stomach.
When I asked if she wanted to get rid of it, she hesitated. And then shook her head.
That may sound surprising but that ball was in some way protecting her. And she wasn’t ready to give it up yet.
We didn’t fight it. Instead I offered her a reframe: this isn’t about having to speak. It’s about being able to. Those are two completely different things.
I had her visualize herself at school. Walking down the corridors. And then, unprompted, she saw herself having a conversation with a girl from her class.
We couldn’t get rid of the black ball yet but we could transform it. She replaced it with a rainbow-colored ball.
After the session I gave her a gift. A necklace with a rainbow stone. This meant a lot to her and she drew herself wearing it.
Three days later the first little breakthrough:
Out of nowhere she “goodbye” to one of her mother’s friends. That lady was so surprised she ran to find the mother immediately and tell her the news.
Two weeks later Mia returned for her second session.
In her inner world she met a cat. She fell in love with it instantly.
Together they went back to her school. The cat spoke to other kids without any hesitation whatsoever.
I pointed out how the cat was a lot smaller than her. And completely unafraid of speaking.
She sat with that for a moment.
The black ball had come back. This time she transformed it into two butterflies.
I ended the session by opening the window and we symbolically let them fly out together, taking the fear with them.
At this point she still had not spoken a word in our sessions. And that was fine.
Selective mutism is one of the more complex challenges I encounter. Rarely a quick fix.
What we can do is create the conditions for movement.
After the second session, I got a wonderful call.
A speech therapist who works with Mia professionally reached out. She had noticed a significant change and wanted to understand what we had done differently.
I shared my insights with her, and she was able to take them forward in her own work with Mia.
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