Running the Show
Reorganizing internal roles instead of trying to fix behavior
Louie (9) had been to me before, for an unrelated issue. I knew him as a good-natured, easy-going kid.
This time was different.
Conflicts at home and school. Lying about homework. Provoking classmates.
A restlessness that hadn’t been there before.
He arrived at my practice with no interest in being there. It took a while to get him on side.
I wanted to understand what was happening inside him. More specifically, which parts of his personality had pushed their way to the front, and why. So, I took him to a theater.
Eyes closed, I had him visualize himself in the front row of a theatre. The best seat in the house, right in front of the stage.
I asked him to think about his behavior over the past weeks.
The curtain went up.
I asked him who was standing on the stage.
He described five versions of himself.
Louie who causes trouble.
Louie who lies.
Louie who doesn’t listen.
Louie who is scared.
Louie who is annoyed and angry.
Children know exactly which sides have taken over if you give them the right stage.
We went through each one systematically. Touch him, feel where he lives in the body, ask why he’s there, find out what he needs before he’ll leave.
The angry Louie needed a place to cool down. We gave him a one-year pass to the swimming pool.
The Louie who didn’t listen wanted 100 packets of crisps.
Scared Louie didn’t just want a holiday. He wanted to relocate permanently to Spain. We arranged it.
Lying Louie drove the hardest bargain. We started with one bar of dark chocolate, but he held out. And eventually walked away with one thousand bars of white chocolate and the promise that he’d be busy for a very long time.
The troublemaker requested a huge bag of cookies. Louie had to help carry it because it was so heavy.
One by one, each negative Louie left the theatre.
The key here wasn’t just sending them away.
It was that each one was fine where it went.
They had what they needed.
They weren’t being ignored or suppressed.
And parts that feel taken care of don’t keep forcing their way back to the front.
Then the curtain opened again.
Five different versions of Louis stepped onto the stage.
Kind Louie.
Listening Louie.
Brave Louie.
Truthful Louie.
Calm Louie.
He chose them himself. These were the sides of him that had been crowded out.
He stepped onto the stage and touched each one, holding the feeling until it was strong and clear in his body.
His entire body language was noticeably different. Calm. Settled.
Satisfied with himself in a way that hadn’t been there at the start.
His mother later described it as a switch flipping.
Not everything changed at once.
But she could feel the difference.
The Louie she knew was back and starting to take the lead again.
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