Loud Voices
She loved school and loved games. But refused to go to sports day.
Once a year her school organized a sports day. Noemi (6) refused to go.
Her mother couldn’t make any sense of this.
Her daughter loved school. Loved games. And definitely would enjoy all the activities planned for the day.
With eyes closed, I had her visualize herself at the sports day.
It was busy. And noisy.
She heard loud voices shouting. They turned out to be teachers shouting words of encouragement and cheering on the kids.
This seemed to bother her, so we dug deeper.
Underneath it all we found a fear of making mistakes in front of everyone.
We went looking for where that fear had started.
Noemi said it started at birth.
We visualized a chaotic delivery scene in the hospital. Loud voices. Strict instructions. Noise and urgency. All this in the very first moments of her life.
We then changed the angle. Those loud voices, those sharp commands were not a threat. Everyone involved was fighting for her. Every person in that room was making sure she arrived safely.
This completely reframed Noemi’s experience.
Her mother confirmed that the birth had been complicated. There had been some panic. And a suction cup had to be used.
Just days later, Noemi went to sports day without a hint of hesitation.
And had a wonderful time.
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Noemi said the fear started at birth. That sounds impossible. Nobody consciously remembers being born.
But this comes up more often than you’d expect. Not as a memory the child can describe, but as a feeling stored in the body. A nervous system that experienced chaos, urgency, or pain in its very first moments. And filed this away as a threat pattern.
That pattern can lie dormant for years. Then something in the present (e.g. loud voices, sudden urgency, a crowded room) activates it. The child feels overwhelmed without knowing why.
When we find it and look at it from a different angle, the pattern updates. It no longer needs to protect against something that was never actually a threat.
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